Mother stands up against 'hate bullying'

I stood in front of the East Irondequoit School Board meeting alone and nervous but determined to plead my case for my child and all other children to be safe. During my daughter's freshman year she was being bullied. She held it from me, as she had held the fact that she was gay.

At the end of her school year, she finally told me that she was gay. She also told me that she had been bullied. My heart ached. Fortunately for my daughter, she had a Spanish teacher who would not allow discrimination in her classroom and let my daughter know that fact by addressing each and every anti-gay comment that came out of students' mouths during class. She did not, however, know what was being said and how my daughter was being threatened with bodily harm outside of her classroom.

When I learned that she was being "hate bullied," I Googled the subject on the Internet to see if it was prevalent and what I could do to prevent it. I was horrified by the number of articles that appeared on my screen. There were too many to read. I actually had to stop, as it sickened me. There had even been murders against gay teens.

How could this be? Could it be that people have so much hate in their hearts against gay people that they really don't care what is happening to children?

Some people might think this occurrence of "hate bullying" in schools does not affect them because their child isn't gay or that they do not know any children who are.

I believe that you have looked unknowingly into the eyes of a gay child. It could be the Girl Scout who comes to sell you cookies each year, or the Boy Scout who collects cans of food for the hungry, or the quarterback on your son's football team, or a teammate on your daughter's soccer club, or — as in my case — any one of my friends who have looked into the face of a sweet, blonde-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader — my daughter.

As I stood in front of the school board, I wanted to roar out my statements with conviction. But as I fumbled looking for and could not find my reading glasses, I was not able to read from my methodically written notes. I had to speak from my heart. With my soft voice cracking and tears falling down my cheeks, I spoke of my daughter being "hate bullied."

I asked the board if it would add the words "sexual orientation" to their Right to Fairness policy. I asked if in any brochure that lists the school clubs that they include the "Gay, Straight Alliance," and not just with the acronym GSA so that all students and parents who might need it will know it is there. I spoke with a whisper, but we as a group can speak with a roar. I implore you to make a call or send a quick e-mail and let your school board know that you want the words "sexual orientation" added to any Right to Fairness or anti-discrimination policy that they have.

Let them know you want available to their teachers a decal that can be placed on their classroom doors, as a statement that they will stand with the one and not comfortably with the group.

By the way, the school board sent me a copy of the new 2010 Discrimination Policy that adds the words "sexual orientation."

Charlotte Symonds
Received via e-mail

Bullies make it impossible for students, teachers

Your article, "NYSUT demands law to curb bullying," May 21, was a very important one regarding bullying in school. Many class bullies are also the ones who disrupt classes on a daily basis, making it virtually impossible for teachers to teach and students to learn.

Certainly the lowering of class size would be a partial solution to this problem. Another solution would be the recreation of the "600 school" concept for the chronically disruptive child.

Also, we need work-study programs for older disruptive students. Perhaps, if they went to work, they would learn the value of an education and would be more appreciative of it.

Society is mistaken when it says that all children must be educated. Yes, education is vital, but not every student is up this task. We will not educate every child to be a brain surgeon or nuclear physicist. We must stress vocational schooling as well.

Since we don't, this leads to further disruption and bullying. Younger children who are disruptive need a shorter, not longer, day or year.

Ed M. Greenspan
Brooklyn

Remove bullies from the schools

Bullying will continue until bullies are removed from the school.

I taught for 41 years and there are children who bully every day. They must be removed from their buildings until they stop bullying.

Unless we do that, the bullied will be second-class students and more tragedies will occur.

Elliot Kotler
Ossining