This is for the student who can't handle change. Or the one who drums his fingers incessantly. And the student who has obsessive counting rituals, or the one who is socially isolated.

Coping skills, hoping skills: This is what school psychologists learned during professional development workshops at a recent conference of the New York Association of School Psychologists.

One key strategy with struggling students is to use a "hierarchy of fear." Psychologists start by having students try a version of the least fearful thing.

A student with social anxiety, for example, could start by answering the phone at home, and then build up to initiating a conversation on the phone.

A student who fears a crowded cafeteria could start by sitting in the cafeteria when it is empty.

The hierarchy involves having students track progress with even small changes.

"Don't try to smooth or gloss over the anxiety," said Valhalla psychologist Rachel Busman, who is also a faculty member at New York Medical College.

Tracking a student's feelings and reactions from the time they wake up is also helpful to pinpoint anxiety triggers.

Using "coping cards" can help reshape thoughts. Index cards that students can put in a back pocket or backpack are reminders of affirmations or actions.

An action in response to fear would be taking a deep breath; or doing something else written on the card to pass the time.

An affirmation would be a reminder of a positive thing. For example, a girl who fears riding a bus might remind herself that she likes the bus driver.

School psychologist Peter Faustino said anxiety is one of the most frequent reasons for referral to a psychologist.

"But rarely does a student walk in and say, 'I am anxious, help me!'" said Faustino, a member of the Bedford Teachers Association. "We're contacted when a student begins making frequent trips to the school nurse, misses several days of school or begins to show a drop in grades."

The important thing for people to know, he said, is that anxiety disorders are the most treatable condition psychologists deal with.

Faustino said anxiety disorders are more prevalent today because people's lives move so much faster, and "we tend to fill them up with 'requirements.'"

Coaching from a psychologist and practicing new strategies can help students curb anxieties.

"The work you do helps us recognize the whole child," NYSUT Vice President Maria Neira told the school psychologists, noting that nutrition, safety and home life all affect students. "We need our children to know themselves," she said. "Without your partnership it would be difficult for teachers to do their work."

Since anxiety is a response to a perceived meaning, people react cognitively with automatic thoughts, said Westchester-area psychologist Ray Lightstone, who teaches stress management coping skills to teachers, school staff and students (http://www.anxietyand).

Panic episodes

A panic episode is a reaction to a perception of imminent, catastrophic danger.

It can cause a tight constriction in the chest, anger, a fear of going crazy, a need to escape, dizziness, acting out of control, and more.

The average panic attack lasts 15 minutes, or may be episodic throughout the day.

"People who have it view panic as an outside force. That's a perception," Lightstone said. "Reality is, the only thing that keeps panic going is thoughts."

He prefers "panic episode" rather than "panic attack" because attack implies something external.

Sometimes a fear of failing tests can lead to panic; and then the fear becomes about the panic episode itself.

"You are now panicking about panic," Lightstone said.

In the short run, it is helpful to have a person find manageable safety zones, safe places, safe behaviors and safe objects that bring comfort.

In the long run, the psychologist needs to address avoidance behaviors and use exposure therapy in a gradual approach, Lightstone believes.

This can involve inducing a sensation rather than an environment. It involves an anxiety ladder, with different levels of exposure and coping mechanisms.

Starting a social skills group for students struggling with similar issues can also be helpful, said Busman. "School is a place where you have the luxury of kids being in one environment."

Some students have social anxiety, which involves a fear of being scrutinized, avoidance, or worry about doing something stupid. It can be mislabeled as shyness.

Busman said she asks parents' permission to keep in touch with students going through a rough time in between sessions.

She does this through e-mail, and will not text message, and she will also correspond with parents if they want.