It's OK not to be OK." Trauma expert Mark Lerner brought that message to the 600-plus members of the Connetquot Teachers Association the day before school started this year, as he trained them for a slew of difficult questions the next day.

Connetquot was a vortex of media scrutiny over the summer after two students — one from Connetquot and one from another district — were arrested for plotting a high school shooting in April 2008 to mark the ninth anniversary of the Columbine school-shooting catastrophe.

The Connetquot plot was nipped in early stages, after a journal kept by one of the students was turned over to the district, which had been monitoring the student because of previous behavioral issues.

"The system worked," said CTA Vice President Brad Lindell.

Cooperation among students, faculty, staff and community members is critical to preventing traumatic incidents, Lerner noted.

"Good communication can potentially prevent crisis," he said.

Lerner came to Connetquot at the urging of CTA, after members inundated union President Loretta Powell with questions on working with students who face emotional distress.

"There was a lot of anxiety," Powell said.

At her request, the Connetquot Teacher Center offered a well-attended summer class on dealing with traumatic situations. Lindell, a school psychologist who co-wrote a book on crisis response with Lerner in 1996, began working to get Lerner to the district.

Teachers need practical information, said Lindell. "They are on the front lines."

Lerner, president of the American Academy for Experts in Traumatic Stress, has offered school training around the country, even training officials at the United Nations.

He speaks on traumatic stress that can turn into post-traumatic stress disorder if left untreated.

Spotting signs

The first step, Lerner said, is to have a crisis team with all members trained on plans and procedures. Teachers and school staff are in a particularly good position to identify students exhibiting elements of traumatic stress.

"You know where this individual was in the past," Lerner said, "so you may be able to spot who is having a problem."

Traumatized students may have emotional responses such as shock, anxiety, guilt, denial, grief or panic — or even physiological symptoms such as chills, sweating, dizziness and headaches.

In a school setting, students may act out through outbursts of anger or insubordination. Lerner calls these symptoms "normal responses to abnormal events."

He stressed that teachers should help students understand that their feelings are valid.

Lerner recommends a five-step approach for teachers and staff in dealing with individuals suffering from trauma.

• Step 1: Connect with the individual

During this step, introduce yourself to the individual, state your role, move the individual away from the stressor and make an effort to understand their stress. Lerner recommends an approach using the "five Ds."

1) Distract the individual by getting them to focus on something else.

2) Disrupt the individual's emotional response. Get them to take a deep breath.

3) Diffuse the emotional state by mirroring the person's emotions. If they are excited, mirror that emotion and then slowly bring them down to a calmer state of mind.

4) Decisions can help bring a person back to reality. Let the person make some simple choices, such as whether they want to go to another room or have a glass of water.

5) Direct the situation with authority, demonstrating control. This inspires confidence.

• Step 2: Ground the individual

Orient the individual by discussing facts surrounding the event. You can say, "You fell off the monkey bars, Tommy. I know your leg hurts, but we're going to take care of you."

Address the situation at a cognitive level, while keeping in mind the person's developmental stage. A young child, for example, may be more concerned about abandonment. Make clear that you intend to stay with the child or that a parent is on the way.

• Step 3: Provide support

Establish a facilitative and supportive climate. Respect the individual and give them back a sense of control.

The critical part, Lerner said, is to demonstrate empathy, conveying a person's words and feelings back to them.

"Never try to talk someone out of a feeling," Lerner advised.

• Step 4: Normalize the response

Validate the individual's experience. Tell them what they are going through is normal. "It's OK not to be OK," Lerner said.

• Step 5: Prepare for the future

Tell the person what happens next. If they are going to be brought to a hospital, for example, explain what it will be like. Some kids may never have ridden in an ambulance. Helping them prepare will be less traumatic.

Lerner cautioned school staff to remain aware of their own feelings as they deal with someone undergoing traumatic stress. This is to prevent development of what is known as "compassion fatigue." The goal is to remain helpful.

Preventing violence

While Lerner spends a great deal of time training people to deal with trauma, he is asked the most about how to prevent them in the first place.

Sometimes we can spot the warning signs of human-initiated events. Many potentially tragic events have been stopped by what Lerner calls "leakage."

A student, staff member or family member learns of the situation and knows it is important enough to tell someone.

Schools must communicate to students the need to "tell someone."

"Good communication can potentially prevent crisis," Lerner said, noting that people with a history of acting out often initiate such crises.

Teachers and staff also should look for dramatic mood shifts in students — in both negative and positive directions.

Sometimes people's moods improve once they have decided to do something drastic. They feel they are taking control.

Ultimately, a great defense is for schools to plan and train in crisis response.

A good crisis-management plan can prevent things from getting worse than need be.

— Kevin Hart